Why [the Judeo-Christian] God never received tenure at any university:
- He only had one major publication.
- It was in Hebrew.
- It had no references.
- It wasn't published in a referred journal.
- Some even doubt He wrote it Himself.
- It may be true that He created the world, but what has He done since then?
- His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
- The scientific community has had a hard time replicating His results.
- He never applied to the Ethics Board for permission to use human subjects.
- When one experiment went awry, He tried to cover it up by drowning the subjects.
- When subjects didn't behave as predicted, He deleted them from the sample.
- He rarely came to class, just told students to read the book.
- Some say He had His son teach the class.
- He expelled His first two students for learning.
- Although there were only ten requirements, most students failed His tests.
- His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountaintop.
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